How to annoy the Twilight Characters
by EdwardsOwnPersonalStalker
Summary: An amazing list of ways to annoy everyone in Twilight fueled by me Beta and I's lack of attention in science in Chinese. Rated T for more to come.
1. Edward

10 ways to annoy Edward

**10 ways to annoy Edward**

A/N My amazing beta and I thought it would be good to write a list of how to annoy the Twilight cast. You know you want to….

Proclaim your love for werewolves. (A/N –gag, die- )

Sell his Stereo on Ebay

Walk up to him, shout "EMO BUDDIES!!" and proceed to do the emo-handshake-that-only-emos-know-handshake!

Sell each of his CD's on Ebay on different accounts so that he can't link you to the crime.

Tie him up with a rope and force him to listen to the Teletubbie's themesong again…and again…and again…

Use him as a solar panel

Get the Barbie song stuck in everyone's head so that he has to hear it in everyone's head forever!!

Wear plastic fangs

Connect him to an AM meter and measure how many volts run through his arm (A/N I tried this on myself, which resulted in my amazing beta pulling them off)

Dress him as the Easter Bunny and send him on an Easter egg hunt with the vicious 5-year-olds (A/N so scarring –rocks back and forth-)

A/N More soon! Review, and get back to your lives!!


	2. Jacob

**10 ways to annoy Jacob Black**

A/N Ok, you know you all want to do it.

Disclaimer: Me and my Beta/Co-author do not own the Twilight characters, Barbie or the barbie song, Tazers, Ferbies, Vampire Knight, or the country/language of China/chinese. Enjoy!!

1. Wear a T-shirt that says "Vamp Lover"

2. Buy him a cologne-"Essence of Vampire"

3. Destroy His Car

4. Tell him Leah loves him (A/N We all know it's true)

5. Tell him Jared loves him (A/N Also true)

6. Force him to watch High School Musical 2 57 times. (A/N Horrible, horrible movie. -shudder-)

7. Force-feed him Tazers

8. Give him a Ferbie and laugh when it wakes him up in the middle of the night with one of it's sketchy sayings.

9. Call him "Hai Xiao Jie" (That's Mandarin for Ms. Black! xD)

10. Insult him continuously in Chinese and laugh when he cries.

A/N so, there you go, Review!!


	3. Carlisle

**A/N: Its Carlisle's turn! =] We're back! Sort of. Going to different schools makes it really hard to write =[ Miss ya, ****w****hen ****n****ight ****c****alls!**

**B/N: I miss you, too, Alal! But, hey, look on the bright side; you know how to drive a tractor now! **

**Disclaimer: B/N: you know, I never did understand the purpose of a disclaimer on FANfiction – the name kind of implies that we don't own anything. But, because I do not wish to have legal action taken against me: WE DON'T OWN IT!!!!!**

**And without further ado, I present "How to Annoy the **_**Twilight**_** Characters - Carlisle's Chapter"!!!!!**

1) Demand that he only speaks to you in an English accent. **(B/N: which he does anyway, but it would still bug him)**

2. Ask him to prove that he went to medical school...repeatedly

3. Send him a fake email from Forks Hospital saying that he is fired because he is too attractive and all of the nurses aren't doing their jobs and are drooling after him **(B/N: can you blame them?)**

4) Douse yourself in ketchup and run around the emergency room screaming "I'M BLEEDING!!!" or "I'VE BEEN BITTEN!!!"

5. And, when you get arrested for impersonating a sick person, call him and beg him to be your lawyer.

6. Steal every left shoe he owns **(B/N: why is it always the left shoe? Why not the right one? – btw, I say this as a proud lefty!)**

7. Find out his pager number and page him every 10 seconds.

8. Go to Forks hospital every day saying that you must see Carlisle and tell him that there is something different wrong with you each time you see him.

9. When you run out of things that are wrong with you, tell him the same things but in different languages!

10. And when you run out of languages (or realize that he can speak multiple languages), start talking in gibberish and try to convince him that it is actually a language.

**And, 'cuz we love you…AN ELEVENTH!!!! (B/N: we are SO nice…jk)**

11. Then, every time you see him, speak only in gibberish!

**B/N: yay! Carlisle is annoyed now…or will be soon! HUZZAH!!!! Okay! Up next…I don't know, whatever we feel like doing. What do you think, EdwardsOwnPersonalStalker…if that IS your real name? (pssstt….it's not!)**

**A/N: By the way, after I was done on word, it told me that the grading level was 5.1. YAY FOR FIFTH GRADE WRITING ABILITIES!!!! REVIEW! Plz?  
**


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